I feel like some hikikomori. Being rejected by the world and hiding in my room while I face the reality of being alone and friendless for the rest of my life.

(This is where I got distracted by an actual hikikomori Singaporean teenager, I think he’s about 17 years old studying in a polytechnic. His posts are quite varied, but he seems like a nice person.)

No, I’m not actually dysfunctional. I think a part of me is just wondering why am I always going for the people who are out of my league, and so obviously out of my league, that I just feel like throwing in the towel and staying in my room and reading ebooks all the time. As a dear friend says, I can’t be anyone but myself. And I really can’t change my personality.

Starting on Mastery by Robert Greene tonight.

From the howling emptiness

Of possibility

From our responsibility

To recognize our own reality.

-Jean Emerson, Cycles of the Moon Vine