surviving.

I was thinking about re-telling stories. Re-telling my life. The reason why I don’t want to put up anything personal on slotherious is because I don’t want to be a human online. I don’t want that feeling of other people possibly knowing me, or thinking that they know me, one day, because they know what I have done. It is not like that.

What I think and how I think is far more important than what I have done or what I am doing on a daily basis, because it is how my mind functions. It is what is important to me, the streams of thought that only I will know.

So many people upload their lives online. Pictures from parties and trips and the things that they have done. Those are memories and good, but I prefer experiences without photographs. Taking photographs to me seems to make the experience less fleeting. And less valuable. Because I can relive it in the future. Maybe I just like not noticing things, having 80% of things float by me, freaking out about 10% that other people don’t notice, and the final 10% being what sustains me on a daily basis- washing my socks properly and the like. I don’t actually wash my socks but you get the drift.

Having all these things- knowing that if I had more time I would be better at things. But that is life, we make do with what we have or don’t have. Time passes and we survive. We think we have that surviving thing down pat and then something worse comes along, past troubles seem small in comparison.